Tokenistic displays of support just aren’t good enough

I rolled my eyes. I just can’t get behind these tokenistic displays of support or activism or awareness.

A spray-painted hill isn’t going to stop me from holding keys between my fingers when walking down an alley.

A council saying it stands with me won’t stop me from calling my partner when I walk down the street so that if I get attacked, he’ll have evidence.

These public displays of support mean nothing to me.

This is not an attack on council, however. I don’t know if there is anything else it can do. Gender-based violence is a society-wide problem that is only getting worse — fuelled partly by extremism on social media.

I feel this way about other attempts at raising awareness.

The breast cancer pink ribbon and clothing campaigns frustrate me.

I’ve never had breast cancer, so this view comes from a place of outside observation, but I think we’re all aware of the disease.

What we need is more research and increased funding for treatment, especially in regional and rural areas.

I understand why people get behind awareness-raising campaigns.

I do think, however, that they are merely symbolic, and don’t achieve anything.

But what else can we do?

I can’t fund the treatment, I’m not smart enough to do the research and I’m not powerful enough to place more oncology places in small towns.

But I can don a pink T-shirt and tell those around me to get checked.

So I understand feeling helpless and grasping for things to do.

But when it comes to things that are meant for me, I feel disappointed.

R U OK? Day, in my opinion, is the most virtue-signally, fake day in the corporate calendar.

It is important to ask people if they’re doing well, of course.

But having a set day where everyone asks about your wellbeing, not out of genuine care but because of the yellow cupcakes in the kitchen, feels like one big performance.

People I’ve barely spoken to are not my top choice for emotionally dumping on, so why would I now? Especially on a day when asking is a box-ticking exercise.

I know these days stem from good intentions. I know the people behind them work really hard to make the world a better place.

It’s just not for me.

If it’s for you, that’s good — you should be free to feel empowered or comforted by anything.

But it’s my opinion column. This is how I feel, and that doesn’t invalidate your feelings.

Just putting that out there before we move on.

Back to ‘RESPECT’ written on the hill.

What does council think is going to change?

That a sexist man is going to see that word and go, “You know what? I should be more respectful”?

Or, “Wow, if my council doesn’t stand for gender-based violence then I better stop that right away”?

Women think about their safety every day.

It is muscle memory to stay in the light, look for the nearest camera and share my location with my partner when I’m out at night, not to keep me safe, but so that if I am attacked there will be evidence, and I won’t be another cold case where the police say there wasn’t enough evidence to convict.

But thank god there’s spray paint on a hill.

That’ll fix it.