Dear General
I’ve been a bit lonely up here during all these lockdowns and they look like going on for a while. I thought a dog would be good company, except these fancy breeds look a bit pricey. Where can I find a dog like you for a reasonable price?
Bazza from Bearii
Dear Bazza
The short answer is, you can’t. Like Elvis, flying frogs and liquorice ice-cream, I’m a one-off. Besides, if you have to ask about price, you obviously can’t afford a hound like me.
You could search the globe for the rest of your days and not find a dog who can hoover up a bag of chicken wings while simultaneously defending The Boss and his chattels, distilling the wisdom of the ages and keeping an eye on the garbage bin.
But I can help you with your research - which is what you need to do before spending the price of a small car on a dog.
And the first thing is to be clear on what you want from a dog, since a lot of dogs are bred for a purpose - like working dogs rounding up sheep or cattle, or hunting dogs that can point or retrieve or follow a scent. Then there’s guard dogs, drug-sniffing dogs, truffle-sniffing dogs and dogs that are safe family dogs and loyal, one-owner dogs that might suit someone like you.
This will tell you if you need to look at a specific breed or whether a cross-bred or mongrel dog will do – in which case you might check out the pound for an unclaimed or unwanted dog. The good thing about cross-breeds is that they don’t tend to suffer from some of the health problems that pedigree dogs can as a result of in-breeding.
Take the aforementioned French Bulldog, one of which was apparently sold for around $100,000. The Frenchie has bat ears, can’t cope with vigorous exercise and snores. Some breeders have tried to accentuate its flat face, which means they can have trouble breathing. Most have to be artificially inseminated to breed because their body structure makes it hard to naturally mate.
The more unusual the breed, the more careful you need to be, The Boss says, in finding a breeder who is meticulous in working to avoid in-breeding. Breeds like Labradors are pretty safe because there is a large pool of sound breeding dogs to choose from.
There are plenty of scammers about these days too, so he reckons a reputable site like www.dogzonline.com.au is a good place to look at registered breeders and dogs for sale. A registered breeder must allow a female no more than three litters and these “retired mums” - usually 4-5 years old, can also be a fine way to bring a settled and trained older dog into the household.
The Boss reminds me that, when Queenie had me and my eight siblings, the smart puppy purchasers who knew what they were doing paid several visits (after we had our vaccinations at four weeks) to watch and play with us. This way they could select a dog that appealed to them – shy or enthusiastic, quiet or playful, nervous or up-for-anything.
“You were the last one left, General,” he laughs.
This is just to annoy me of course. After all, to be certain of having a perfect specimen like myself, he had to have picked me first... didn’t he? Woof!
The General.