That is the philosophy that drives Dale Wright to continue running his powerful men’s programs year after year.
For three decades, Mr Wright has hosted the 13-week Talking Straight ‘warrior training’ small groups for men of all ages.
He says many have lost their way in the chaotic modern world and wants to help them return to their roots.
He facilitates this by bringing men of varying ages together and engaging them in real talk, which, he said, creates bonds between them, thus improving their mental health to know they’re not alone.
There are only two prerequisites to be considered: you must be a man, and you must commit to turning up to the sessions every week for the course of the program.
“We take men from all walks of life. I don’t care who they are: rich man, poor man, whatever,” Mr Wright said.
“I don’t care what your achievements are or what you’re doing in your life; my focus is just on you, who you are as a human being.”
He said the program was about breaking down barriers to discover one’s true self and that if men could love who they were, they could love others properly.
Mr Wright and his assistant facilitator, Kevin Sidebottom, have seen 240 men through the highly confidential programs.
“He’s the yin, I’m the yang, we just work in really well together,” Mr Wright said of Mr Sidebottom.
“You can’t speak any bull. After a while, we just cut it all out.”
Mr Wright said it was amazing to watch the love, respect, camaraderie and laughter develop with the small groups of 10 in just a matter of two or three weeks.
His motivation for starting the program all those years ago was personal.
“Years ago, I fell out of my tree and realised there were no men to talk to, no-one to communicate with,” Mr Wright said.
“I was happily married, you know, with a lovely wife.
“I just hadn’t dealt with my trauma from my past.”
He slowly put a group together that went for four weeks, increasing to six, then to eight and now sits at the optimum 13-week duration for the most effective outcome.
“I realised I’d perfected the program and it’s just gotten bigger and better,” Mr Wright said.
“If you haven’t got a best mate, your soul and spirit diminish; we need a mate; we need to bounce off another mate.
“A lot of situations go back to childhood. There’s a lot of trauma in men from divorce, separation, sexual abuse, a lot of trauma.”
He said he greatly respected doctors, psychologists and counsellors who referred or suggested his program after realising their patients didn’t need to be in session with them, rather just to be surrounded by their fellow men to talk with.
“For thousands of years, we were hunters and gatherers,” Mr Wright said.
“If a warrior didn’t return to camp and was missing, we, as warriors, would go back and search for him and bring him back, dead or alive.
“It was only up to a hundred years ago that the father and the son were out ploughing the fields together.
“Now, it’s a circus out there; we’ve lost our way.
“So the idea of running the groups is to bring those warriors back into the circle and create a new beginning for them.”
Mr Wright doesn’t charge for the program. He said the only cost to participants was their word.
“This is part of my community service and that’s what I do,” he said.
Mr Wright is taking expressions of interest from men aged 18 to late 40s (older places have been filled) for his next Talking Straight program, which will begin early in 2025.
If you want to join the next group, phone 5821 1864 for a confidential interview. Referrals from doctors, psychologists and counsellors are also accepted.
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