I recently spent a flight from Melbourne to the Gold Coast listening to four women complain about an ex-best friend, giving their best impression of an episode of Desperate Housewives.
The thing was they all couldn’t pinpoint exactly what went wrong – only that there was something minor that happened and after that she changed.
“I’m glad I don’t have to listen to her guilty weight issues anymore. I already need to see a psychologist,” one woman said.
“She has lost a lot of weight,” another admitted.
But they didn’t dwell on that for long.
This was a friend who had been part of their circle for the better part of a decade and yet when things went wrong, she meant nothing to any of them.
Worse than that, she meant that little they had no trouble picking pieces at this woman as if she was their enemy – certainly never a friend.
“Everything she has is because of her dad,” one woman said.
And when another butted in because she no doubt too has taken money from her parents, the story shifted.
“There’s nothing wrong with it but just don’t forget where you came from,” she clarified.
I’m not exaggerating when I say these women spent the entire flight talking about this woman and when finally the conversation changed in the last 15 minutes, when the plane was landing, it was to a sister-in-law who had apparently been avoiding a catch-up.
“She said to me she had hurt her back and was in bed and couldn’t make it,” the woman said.
“But she had the wrong day – it’s actually this weekend. I said, “Get well babe and it’s okay, our date’s actually this weekend”. I can’t wait to see what excuse she comes up with this time.”
I just don’t understand why these women weren’t celebrating the first woman for her weight loss or concerned for the second who – if she was in bed all day with a sore back - must have done some serious damage.
Why was that not at the forefront of their minds?
The bigger issue at play here is the above is sadly not uncommon.
Women are so quick to drag each other down but so slow to celebrate.
I interviewed a well-travelled woman once who said if she could change one thing about the world it would be that women were more kind to one another.
This was her answer to what would be her one wish for change.
But it shouldn’t have to be just a wish.
It shouldn’t be hard to make it true.
So the next time you hear a man or woman dragging one another down, find the positive.
And say it.
There are enough natural events or things outside of our control that bring us down, which is why it is so important we spend our time building each other up.
Find the reasons to celebrate, not the reasons to criticise.
Tyla Harrington is news editor at The News.
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