FWAW Ep 10 & 11: Emotionally depleting and two lost farmers

Our last light-hearted moment was when all the farmers drove into Sydney to meet in the same hotel room (Paige drove in with Will, Ben drove with Harry).

“How was the trip?” Paige asked.

“Fantastic. Great company,” Ben said.

“We did get lost a couple of times. We went over the bridge, then came back over it. I was confused.”

Ben proceeded to open a bottle of champagne with his teeth. You can take the boy out of the country ...

A televised cow birth was another highlight.

Not only did Channel Seven give us a bit of blood, we got a smiling Harry next to three horrified girls as they watched on.

“I can’t wait to have kids, but this is not making me clucky,” Rommi, retail manager, 24, said.

“I want three or four, but I’ll start with one,” a girl declared. What?

Is she saying there’s something wrong with quadruplets?

Another highlight was all the final girls sitting down for a ‘gal chat’ about kissing and feelings.

Paige’s two lads did their best cardboard cut-out impressions on the couches and tried to say as little as possible during the ‘gal chat’.

Back in the hotel room, the farmers were telling Paige her blokes sound like duds.

Paige is yet to realise blokes are sensitive, skittish creatures and require a bit of encouragement when faced with a woman who can castrate testicles without batting an eye.

A flower cannot grow without a bit of water — well, weeds can grow without water. But do you really want weeds?

“Do you have any feelings towards me romantically,” Paige pinned one of her blokes with the question after backing him into a corner.

“Yeah.”

“Was that really hard to say?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just — I’m used to keeping everything in.”

Oh lord, the last thing you want on a reality TV show is honesty and humbleness.

You can almost hear the show producers swearing up a storm behind the catering van.

Paige switched tracks and bailed her other bloke, Cody, up against a fence.

She asked why there had been no second kiss.

The mining town playboy said the physical attraction hadn’t “clicked in” yet and he was waiting to see where things went.

After some gal chat, Paige decided to cut both fellas loose.

In other news, Farmer Benjamin has provided a doctor’s note and left the show.

After a terrible phone call from his family, the sheep farmer drove off to be with his grandmother right before her death.

Straight after, Benjamin became incredibly sick and was on doctor’s orders to leave the show.

The girls were left to put their own one-tonne luggage bags in the car.

The best description of the farmers right now is “worn down”.

Not only are they running a farm, they’re starring in a show, listening to producers, playing butler around the house, keeping bored women entertained (double edged sword there) and having to open their hearts to romance all at the same time.

It’s enough to keep a fella single.

Bachelorhood never looked so good and by the end the guys are drawing towards the most low-maintenance, level-headed girls like an overworked dog hiding under the shed on a hot day.

“I’m feeling really good about Madi. She’s easy to talk to, easy to be around, our personalities align ... I could see Madi fitting straight into farm life,” Will gave a glowing review of his top girl.

Farmer Benjamin (RIP) put it best when he whipped out the sentence “it’s starting to get emotionally depleting”.

“It’s not becoming easier in any way, shape or form. There are two other ladies who’ve got feelings (for me) and I’ve got feelings for them. So I’m uneasy and I’m uncomfortable,” he said.

In episode 10 our farmers came back from their one-on-one dates exhausted and ‘emotionally depleted’.

All the farmers pleaded for a shower and a nap, but the producers cracked the whip and had them back out on the farm doing long hours in front of the camera — once they were done hauling the girls’ bags back to their rooms, of course.