David* knew something needed to change in his behaviour in order to end the cycle of violence and ensure he had a relationship with his daughter.
He recently completed a NSW government men's behaviour change program, admitting enrolling was one of the most confronting parts as he had to acknowledge his actions.
"I really came to understand the source of it, why I felt I was entitled to behave that way and some of my personal triggers," he said.
"I learnt about my core beliefs and realised I needed a complete belief system re-evaluation. I had a problematic relationship with alcohol and that exacerbated my behaviour.
"I had a sense of entitlement, largely based on childhood experiences."
Between 2022 and 2024, 1800 men participated in a behaviour change program in NSW.
The evidence-based group program works with perpetrators of domestic and family violence to reduce or prevent the recurrence of abuse towards a partner or family member.
For David, the program has meant he can have a relationship with his daughter and successfully co-parent with her mother.
"I think there is a lack of community education about what is a healthy relationship, and abuse is often hidden in public or normalised," he said.
"I often think we see ads like on buses for Beyond Blue but I would ask, where are the ads for people who need help because they are being abusive or perpetrators of domestic violence?".
Thousands of men had changed their lives by participating in behaviour change programs, resulting in safer homes for women and children, No to Violence chief executive Phillip Ripper said.
"The programs are of course not a magic wand or a cure all for people ... but what we do believe is they are a far more effective mechanism than justice interventions," he told AAP.
"What they do is reset the course for men to reflect and grow and become men who they are proud of."
Many men who take part were motivated to do so when they became fathers, Mr Ripper said.
"They will often, when they become fathers, reflect on their desire and commitment to do better and different from their own father but often they need help to get there," he said.
The NSW government in February committed an additional $10 million to increase the availability of these programs across the state.
The programs will be available across 35 locations through 15 providers, with new services in Nowra, Ulladulla, Forster and Lithgow.
"These programs are about taking accountability, about breaking the cycle of violence by working with perpetrators to understand their behaviour is never acceptable," Prevention of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Minister Jodie Harrison said.
"The fact is to build a safer NSW, free from domestic and family violence, we need men who use violence to take responsibility for their actions and change their behaviour."
* Name has been changed for privacy.
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