Lake Eildon aside, cod are off the menu in Victoria. Fortunately there are plenty of trout, redfin and yellowbelly to reel in.

The main thing Kris Kristofferson and I had in common was that we both described ourselves as “writer”. He listed it as his occupation in his passport, whereas I do it every week and, being a dog, it should give me an edge.

Any ‘Australia Day’ will always have overtones of colonisation.